Here are some facts around doing it that may make things more pleasurable for you and your partner. Remember it can be fun and exciting, but only when it’s a positive choice for you.
Feeling under pressure? Not sure you really want to be doing any of these things? Don’t worry, this is really common. Just remember that it’s your body and your choice when and where it happens. It can be fun and exciting, but only when it’s a positive choice for you.
Oral Sex
Oral sex is any genital (to the clitoris, vulva, penis or anus) stimulation using your partners’ mouth, lips and/or tongue.
Cunnilingus is the big word for oral sex done to a woman. It’s sometimes called slang names like ‘eating out’, ‘going down’ or ‘licking out’.
Fellatio, is the official name for oral sex on men. This is much more commonly known as a ‘blow job’.
Analingus is a term used to describe oral-anal sex for anyone which is often commonly referred to as ‘rimming’.
Oral sex is something people might do before they are ready for sex to start getting used to each other’s bodies by turning each other on and giving pleasure. It’s really important to talk about it and make sure both of you are happy. Some people never want to give or receive oral sex, and that’s ok too.
It’s also worth remembering that some STIs can also be passed through oral sex so it’s best to use a condom or a dental dam to help protect you and your partner.
Forcing someone to have oral sex is as serious as forcing someone to have penetrative sex.
Mutual Masturbation
This is when you and your partner touch each others genitals and/or breasts and can be called ‘wanking’ or ‘fingering’.
There’s a much lower risk of infection, although still a risk, but it’s a very, very low risk of pregnancy. People often do this as part of foreplay or instead of going all the way but still turning each other on. To prevent infections, wipe or wash your hands in between touching each other. Guys can also use a condom.
Anal Sex
Anal sex may include stimulation with fingers, the mouth, a penis, sex toys, or other objects or body parts. It isn’t just something that gay men do either. It can between two people of any gender.
Not everyone engages in or likes anal sex – even if pornography makes you think they do! If you decide you don’t want to do it, you don’t have to – it’s your body and your choice.
If you want to have a go, it’s really important that both of you want to do it. If it is rushed or forced it can be damaging and painful so you need to talk to each other, take it slow and trust each other.
Lots of water based lube needs to be used and condoms are a definite because, although there is no risk of pregnancy, there is a high risk of passing on STIs
Lube
Most women, when turned on, produce a natural fluid in the vagina to make sex easier when penetrated. However, sometimes there might need to be a bit more, and if people engage in anal sex, this doesn’t produce a natural lubricant.
Lubricants, or lube, are used for a variety of reasons in sex but one of the main reasons is to make sex easier. Some people use it in a variety of ways and it can be used in foreplay as well. It’s a good idea to use lube the first time you have sex.
Always use a water-based lube if you’re using any latex based products such as a condom or dental dam. Latex condoms can be broken down by oil-based lubes. And never use Vaseline!